BITS & PIECES OF A MISPLACED LIFE #4

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 EPITAPHS
  
  
 Beneath this stone our Bobby lies.
   He neither crys or hollers.
 He lived just one and twenty days
    And cost us forty dollars.
  
         Burlington Cemetery, Vermont
  
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   Under this Marble, or under this Sill,
   Or under this Turf, or ev’n what they will,
   Whatever an Heir, or a Friend in his stead,
   Or any good creature shall lay o’er my head,
   Lies one who ne’er cared, and still cares not a pin
   What they said, or may say, of the mortal within…
  
    Alexander Pope, an epitaph he wrote for himself
  
   

“I would be satisfied if they wrote on my tombstone, ‘He made people happy.” Charles Schulz, creator of PEANUTS. Quoted in SCHULZ AND PEANUTS by David Michaelis (New York:HarperCollins, 2007)

What noted American entertainer is buried under a tombstone that reads:
                                       THAT'S ALL FOLKS
                                
                                   
Answer at the end of this blog.
 

THUNDERSTORM OVER MANHATTAN

Ba da bing, ba da boom.
Ba da boom, ba da bing.
Fagehdaboutit.

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According to the HARVARD HEALTH LETTER (27 HEALTH REVELATIONS)
"Laughter has been found to lower levels of stress hormones, reduce inflammation
in the arteries, and increase 'good' HDL cholesterol."

 MAY NOT BE AN ASSET ON A FIRST DATE
  
 I sd blah blah with charm & wit.
 She sd that’s true, so true.
 I asked, “What is Truth?”
 She replied, “I’m sorry. I must be going.”
   

SHOES

Any woman who, through the use of high heeled shoes or other devices, leads a subject of her Majesty into marriage shall be punished with the penalties of witchery.

Seventeenth Century Decree of Parliament

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With the exception of chocolate dentures, there’s probably nothing in this world more impractical than glass shoes: their life expectancy must be as short as their discomfort level is horrific. So was Cinderella a naïve ditz, a dingbat with masochistic tendencies?

Tom Robbins. “Slipper Sipping” in Wild Ducks Flying Backward (New York: Bantam Books, 2005).

“I didn’t have 3,000 pairs of shoes. I had only 1,060.”

Imelda Marcos

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“He (ED WYNN) had a collection of over eight hundred funny hats and three hundred bizarre jackets and coats that adorned his tall, pear-shaped frame. Also, an important part of his comical getup were his flapping over-sized shoes…”

Stanley Green. The Great Clowns of Broadway (New York and Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1984)

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ETYMOLOGICAL NOTE

Auto-da-Fe (Portuguese, literally “an act of faith) from the Latin actus, act and fidex, faith. A day set apart by the Inquisition for examining heretics, who, if not acquitted, were burned. TheInquisition burned their victims, being forbidden to shed blood; the Roman Church holding Ecclesia non novit sanguinem (the Church is untainted with blood).

Henry Frederic Redall. Fact, Fancy, and Fable.

Chicago: A.C. McLurg & Co., 1889)

COLLEGE NOTE # 1

I must unlearn what I have learned,
Undo so much of  what  I think I know.
No doubt I shall jettison many subjects.
Algebra is the first to go.
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COLLEGE NOTE #2

John Stuart Mill
Gives students much to mull
Over One idea & the next.
I wonder: can I resell my text?

       NATURE’S BEDROOM
  
          River Beds
          Sheets of rain.
          Blankets of fog.
          Who does Nature’s Laundry? 

,

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COLLEGE NOTE # 3

My friends are texting left & right.
Others are on the tennis courts.
I have to memorize this poem for my English Class.
No wonder I am out of sorts.

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AUTHOR’S NOTE

One of my favorite writers is Saki. Christopher Morley said of him: “There is no greater compliment to be paid the right kind of friend than to hand him Saki, without comment.”  Here is Saki’s Author’s note to his novel The Unbearable Bassington:

The Story has no moral.
It points out an evil at any rate it suggests
No remedy,

LA TRIVIATA #30

1. The oldest living animal that we have record of lived to be 405 years old.     What species of animal?

 A. clam

 B. snail

 C. Amoeba

 D. tubeworm

2 . Beginning with Larry Corcoran, who pitched in the 1880s) there have been only 6 major league pitchers who pitched 3 no-hitters. Name any 3

on that short list.

3. What does the medical term  “The Great Pretender” refer to?

4. The song :”The Great Pretender” (Ooh ooh yes I’m the great pretender (ooh ooh) was first sung in 1955 by what singer?

5. Talking about singers, Frank Sinatra said, “Sammy’s words fit my mouth the best.” Whom is the Sammy refer to?

6. Who was the first president to be inaugurated in Washington D.C.?

7. The Metropolitan Museum of Art has a staff

of how many staff  members?

   A)  800  B) 1,300  C) 1,800   D) 2,200 E) 2,800

8) What is the longest river in Europe?

9) To what state in the United States would you

    have to go to in order to visit the Motorcycle

    Hall of Fame Museum?

10) On March 10, 1876 , who said “Mr. Watson –Come here—I want to see you.” Why is the

sentence significant to United States history?

11.  During the Civil War, Union soldiers sometimes resorted to eating Skillygalee to

gain nourishment. What is Skillygalee?

12.  What U.S. city is the only city to be ranked no. 1 as

“The Best Place to Live in America” more than once?

13. In 1949, the very first cartoon made especially for

       television made its appearance. What was the title

       (it is the name of the series’ main character)?

14. Who was the first black American actor to amass a million dollars, much of that fortune  made possible by

his work in films at major Hollywood studios?

15. What word means to cheat by cunning or daze with tricks. According to one dubious etymology, It is a gypsy word meaning to dress a man in bamboos to  teach him swimming. Like the bladders used for the same purpose by little-wanted boys the apparatus is dangerous and deceitful?

16, “Gangway! Gangway for de Lawd God Jehovah.”

According to drama critic John Mason Brown, ‘The modern theatre has produced no entrance cue better known or more affectionately remembered. These are words which even when read makes the heart stand still.” What 20^th century play is Mr. Brown referring to?

17. This Academy Award winning actor in 1966, the son of

        Milton Matuschanskayasky , described himself as the

        “Ukranian Gary Grant”?

18. What particle, a quantum of light, carries energy proportional to the radiation frequency but has zero rest mass?

19. The NFL Minnesota Vikings placekicker Fred Cox

created the Nerf Football. NERF is actually an acronym. What do the initials stand for?

20. The long-playing musical album “CALYPSO” is said to be the first album by a single artist to sell more than a million copies. Who was the singer?

ANSWERS:

1. A (clam, named Ming by the scientists who studied him).

2. Justin Verlander, Nolan Ryan, Bob Feller, Sandy Koufax, and Cy Young

3. The Great Pretender is a disorder that mimics real disorders, thus puzzling doctors and medical specialists..

4. Freddy Mercury. On Youtube, Freddy Mercury’s music video of “The Great Pretender”

is the official version of the song.

5. Sammy Cahn, song writer.

6. Thomas Jefferson

7. D (2,200)

8.  The Volga (2,190 miles long)

9.  Ohio (Pickerington, Ohio)

10. Alexander Graham Bell. He was transmitting the world’s first telephone message. Thomas Watson was his assistant.

11. Skillygalee was hardtack (very hard crackers)

  soaked in water, then fried in pork fat.

12. Nashua, New Hampshire (1987 and 1998)

13. Crusader Rabbit

14.  Lincoln Perry (1896-1985). His movie name

        was Stepin Fetchit.

15. Bamboozle

16. The Green Pastures by Marc Connelly

17. Walter Matthau. He said, “Doing a play is like eating a seven-course meal, but a movie is like eating a lot of hors-d’oeuvres. You get filled up, but you’re never quite satisfied.”

18. Photon

19.  NERF – Non-Expanding Recreational Foam

20. Harry Belafonte

(If you get 10 questions right, consider yourself a trivia mavin!)

For readers who enjoy off-beat/fun quizzes my collection of quizzes LA TRIVIATA (published by World Audience) is available from AMAZON.

THE NAME CHAIN GAME

 A name chain consists of a list of all-well known names with the last name

Forming the first name of the next person upon the list. The challenge is to

get from a given first name  to a predetermined last name in the fewest

possible moves, using well-known names from real or fiction.

    For example: Can you get from BOY GEORGE to GORDON LIGHTFOOT in 4 moves’

         1. BOY GEORGE

         2.______________________________

         3. _______________________________

         4  GORDON LIGHTFOOT

one solution:

          BOY GEORGE

          George Herman “Babe” Ruth

          Ruth Gordon

          GORDON LIGHTFOOT

Now can you get from The Lone Ranger to Edgar Allan Poe?

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Answer to epitaph question: Mel Blanc (1908-1989). He provided the voice for numerous animated characters, such as Bugs Bunny & Sylvester the Cat.

HESTER PRYNNE GIVES THIS SITE AN A RATING