The Four Horsemen of Notre Dame comprised a group
of American football players at the University of Notre Dame under coach Knute Rockne. They were the backfield of Notre Dame's 1924 football team.
The players that made up this group were Harry Stuhldreher, Don Miller, Jim Crowley, and Elmer Layden.[1]
In 1924, a nickname coined by sportswriter
Grantland Rice and the actions of a student
publicity aide transformed the Notre Dame
backfield of Stuhldreher, Crowley, Miller, and
Layden into one of the most noted groups of
collegiate athletes in football history,
the Four Horsemen of Notre Dame.[from Wikipedia FOOTBALL
Blocking is something you have to make
yourself do. Catching is natural; but it
isn’t natural for a civilized man to run
around hitting people. Besides, it hurts.
Lance Alworth
If a man watches three football games
in a row, he should be declared
legally dead.
Emma Bomback
Football is not a contact sport. It’s
a collision sport. Dancing is a
good example of a contact sport.
Duffy Daugherty
Football –a sport that bears the same relation
to education that bullfighting does to
agriculture.
Elbert Hubbard
I love to hit people, and I admit it – blockers
as well as ball carriers. Defensive football
players are innate hitters. It’s a joy to me.
I tell people it’s how I work off my daily
hostilities. During the week I’m as gentle as
anybody. Sunday is my time to hit.
Dave Robinson. Green Bay Packers’ player/ (1969)
Asking about the secret to the (ALABAMA’S)
Tide’s success is like asking an elephant
for his secret of squashing bugs. They have
the best coach and the players. There is no
second sentence.
Michael Rosenberg. Sports Illustrated
(October 20,2017)
He (BUNNY LARKIN) would line up all the
candidates for the Carlisle football team,
show them a football, and in a few words he
would explain to them how the game was to be
played. Said Bully Larkin: “When white man
has ball get him. When Indian has the ball,
knock down white man.”
Bill Stern. Bill Stern’s Favorite Football Stories.
“I have two weapons. My legs, my arms,
and my brains.”
Michael Vick (Atlanta Falcons
Quarterback, 2006)
If you’re going to be a champion, you
must be willing to pay a greater price
than your opponent
will ever pay.
Bud Wilkinson
**
FAIRS
I saw at Southwark, at St. Margaret’s Faire,
monkies and asses dance and do other feats
of activity on a rope; they were gallantly
clad a la mode, went upright, saluted the
company, bowing and pulling off their hats;
they saluted one another with as good a
grace as if instructed by a dancing master.
They turned heels over heads with a basket
having eggs in it, without breaking any;
also with lighted candles in their hands
and on their heads without extinguishing
them, and with vessels of water, without
spilling a drop. I also saw an Italian
wench dance and perform all tricks on ye
tight rope to admiration; all the court
went to see her.
John Evelyn, in his diary (September 11, 1660)
To Southwark Fair, very dirty, and there
saw…Jacob Hall’s dancing on the rope,
where I saw such action as I never saw
before, and mightily worth seeing…
Samuel Pepys, in his diary
(September 21,1668)
***
To THE NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW
Dear Editors:
Although I love some books much more than
some people, I believe I was not the only Book
Review reader who was shocked by Geoff Dyer's
confession to his wife that he'll "just never
love another human being as much as I love my books.'
Does he have children?
I do believe,however, that Mr. Dyer
dislikes change. Human beings change; books do not.
Our perceptions, rereadings, and interpretations
of books change. Don Quixote is one book for a
college-age student. It will be a completely
different book when read by that same student
some 40 years later.
Dyer and I may also share a sense of
disappointment that Dante did not create a
special circle of Hell for persons who borrow
books but do not return them.
Sincerely,
Louis Phillips
**
Long live the circus with its sandy ring, its
prideless palfreys, its jovial clowns, its
gracefulness, its robustness, its mockery,
its rides, its mimicry, its trapeze at the top,
its carpet at the bottom, its somersault, its
gibberish, its acrobatic prowess and the mystery
of its morals.
Le Couriere francais
ON AUTOGRAPHS & H.ALLEN SMITH AT
PARAMOUNT PICTURES
"Smith found other ways to amuse
himself during his stay with us.
He spent one afternoon at the
studio's main gate with an autograph
book and a pen. Each time one of our
stars passed in and out he'd approach
the performer, open the book,
write his own autograph, tear out the
sheet, hand it over, and say, "There
you are. Thanks very much for asking."
B.G. DeSylva in his introduction to
Lost in the Wild Horse Latitudes
by H.Allen Smith (NY:Doubleday, Doran &
Company,1944)
**
AUTOGRAPH HUNTING
Autograph hunting is the most
unattractive manifestation of sex-starved
curiosity.
Sir Laurence Olivier
ACADEMY AWARDS
…the Dorset coast – or, as it is occasionally
and inadequately known, the Jurassic Coast.
The crumbing cliffs along it, dating from
the Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous periods,
are a happy hunting ground for anyone seeking
the fossilized remains of ancient creatures.
The nearest American equivalent would be the
Academy Awards
Anthony Lake , reviewing Ammonite in
The New Yorker (November 16, 2020)
**
BEATLES (THE)
When reporters at their first press
conference asked the cheeky Brits to sing
a song, John Lennon set them straight:
“We need money first.”
Time. Visions of the 1960s.
i
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
The three towering geniuses of European culture,
Shakespeare, Mozart and Leonardo Di Vinci, were
not allowed to appear on the euro note as they
might, in their separate ways , cause offense;
mozart because he was a “womanizer”, Shakespeare,
because he wrote The Merchant of Venice, a play
judged to be anti-semitic, and Leonardo because
he was reported to fancy boys. Now the euro note
carries a picture of a rather dull bridge.
John Mortimer, Where There’s a WillPOLITICAL THOUGHT
From the Renaissance to the eighteenth century,
The impulse behind classic works of political
thought was the urge to shape events. Machiavelli
wrote to rescue Florence and Italy from internal
corruption and external weakness.
Jean Bodin designed a theory of sovereignty that
might rescue France from its wars of religion.
The Marian exile of the mid-sixteenth century,
and John Locke under Charles II, devised
justification for resistance to prevent tyranny.
Blair Worden in TLS (August 4,2006)
POLITICIANS/POLITICS
No matter how paranoid you are, what the
government is actually doing is worse than
you can imagine.
William Blum
Don’t believe anything until it’s been
officially denied.
William Blum
People used to complain that selling a president
was like selling a bar of soap. But when you buy
soap, at least you get the soap. In this campaign
you just get two guys telling you that they really
value cleanliness.
David Brooks
LIGHT VERSE POET BRUCE NEWLING WRITES ABOUT
SOON-TO-BE- EX-PRESIDENT TRUMP
President Trump Delivers His State of The Union Address,February 4,2020
He stood below the Speaker's chair,
With golfer's tan and flaxen hair
Entirely his, with no toupee
And all with very little gray.
Given his looks belie his years,
What does he have between his ears?
What is this man? All huff and puff?
Or is he made of sterner stuff?
Is he a steak? Is he a ham?
Might he be mutton dressed as lamb?
A statesman? No; as that, he fails;
He's one whose trolley's off its rails.
But showman? Yes;he made his points.
Most notably, he self-anoints
And,as his Congress claque applauds,
Adds to his string of self-awards.
Stromboli-like, Pelosi fumed;
Her copy of his speech was doomed.
She clutched it with a raptor's grip--
Oh,rapture! Yes, I heard it rip.
Glancing,nauseous, through her copy,
It's no wonder she got stroppy.
It seems the copy--every page-- Then wound up in her parrot's cage,
Or so her housemaid said, when pressed.
This is recycling at its best.
The sheets, bespattered, I daresay
Will be collectibles one day;
And maybe once Trump's on the skids,
It will be time to call for bids.
"Chump Impeached by Champ Pelosi"--
Give the champ a gorgeous posy.
The Coda
Tempting fate trough self-seduction,
Trump promotes his own destruction.
When that will be, God only knows:
Nemesis comes on tippy-toes.
Copyright (c) 2020 Bruce E. Newling
OUR VICE PRESIDENT
Mike Pence
Knows from whence
All Presidential power flows,
Hence, the brown upon his nose.
Louis Phillips
**
The 14th Amendment, Section 3:
No person shall be a Senator or Representative
in Congress, or elector of President and Vice
President, or hold any office, civil or military,
under the United States, or under any State,who,
having previously taken an oath, as a member of
Congress, or as an officer of the United States,
or as a member of any State legislature,or as an
executive or judicial officer of any State, to
support the Constitution of the United States,
shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion
against the same, or given aid or comfort to the
enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of
two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.
**
IMAGE CIRCULATED FROM AN UNKNOWN SOURCE ON THE INTERNET
.
The hero of The Man in the Moon, a novel written in the late 1620s by the Anglican bishop Francis Godwin, is carried to the moon in a sky chariot pulled by a flock of wild swans. He spends the next few months among the peaceful ‘Lunars” and gains a measure of fluency in their language, ‘which consisteth not so much of words and letters’ as of melodies ‘that no letters can expresse’.
Nick Richardson, “We’re Not Talking toYou, We’re Talking to Saturn” in London Review of’Books (18 June 2020)
A provocative theory among physicists and philosophers suggests that humans aren’t experiencing and haven’t experienced reality.
What we understand as reality, the theory proposes, may merely be one of an astronomical number of vivid computer simulations of an ancient past , designed by humanity’s distant descendants to study the evolution of their forbears. If so, the United States of America is about as real as, say the Mushroom Kingdom in an unattended game of Super Mario Bros.
Caity Weaver. “The Reality Behind ‘Below Deck” The New York Times (July 2, 2020).
**
T-SHIRT MESSAGES
I want the job
where I push
scared sky-drivers
out of planes.
**
Today I will
Be as useless
As the “G” in
LASAGNA
**
I survived
The 60’s
Twice!
**
I don’t snore
I dream
I am a
Mototcycle
**
If I can’t fix it
It must not be broken
**
If only
Sarcasm
Burned
Calories
**
RETIRED
I worked my whole
life for this shirt.
**
LIKE MOST WEBSITES
I USE COOKIES
TO IMPROVE MY
PERFORMANCE
**
THE CHAINS ON
MY MOOD SWING
JUST SNAPPED
RUN.
**
I LOVE COOKING
WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food
**
MY BUCKET LIST
1. Beer
2. Ice
**
THE EARTH’S
ROTATION
HAS MADE
MY DAY
**
NOTE TO THE READERAll right, I know that more than a few of the questions in the various La Triviata quizzes are unfair and often impossible for many readers, to answer. But the point of a quiz is not to test intelligence or even cultural and verbal awareness. Not by a long shot. The point is to have fun, to pass some time pleasantly while picking up tidbits of useful and useless information. I hope it’s a good party game or a good quiz to share with a friend or two. Actually I hope it is just a good quiz. And sometimes a useful one. If you get 6 correct you are doing very good. If you get 9 or more correct you are in the GeniusCategory.—LJP
1l Bees can see all colors except one. What color
cannot be seen by bees?
2.What is the only seven letter word in the English
language that contains all 5 vowels?
3. It has been claimed that the logo depicting a large
tongue protruding from a mouth is the most famous
logo in Rock & Roll history. It is the logo of what group?
4. What were the names of the famous NBC newscasters
who signed off each broadcast with:
“ Good night, David.”
“ Good night, Chet.”
5. What does a kinologist study?
6 In the Olympics Discus throw competition how much
does the discus weigh?
7.Fur is one of the official languages of what African
country?
8. In 1984, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences
established the Television Hall of Fame and inducted
seven people. Can you name any 3 persons of the
first seven inductees?
9. A bit of IdMb trivia for this film, directed by John
Ford and starring John Wayne as Captain Brittles
Reveals that the regiment's blacksmith, named "Wagner" (Mickey Simpson), is seen at work, we can hear the orchestra playing the "Nibelung"-motif from Richard Wagner's famous opera, "Siegfried". In the opera the motif is connected with the forging of Siegfried's sword. What is the film?
10. Ithaca and Kerykara are Greek islands in what sea?
11.On November 25, 1864 the Winter Garden Theater
in NYC presented a production of Julius Caesar. Junius
Brutus Booth played Cassius and his brother Edwin Booth played Brutus. What part did the third brother—John Wilkes Booth – play?
12. In the U.S. Presidential election of 1920 one of
the major candidates on the ballot was a prisoner
in a Federal Penitentiary in Atlanta, Georgia . Who
was he?
13. What country has the oldest flag in the world?
14. How many eyes does a scallop have?
A. none
B. 30
C. 50
D. 100
15. What do the following all have in common?
Mr. R. Nixon, Phunky, Ty Kong, Wopsle, Squod
Nobs, and Hookem?
16. What U.S. President is associated with this
piece of advice: “Speak softly, but carry a big stick.”
17. What U.S. President gave Maxwell House Coffee
its famous advertising slogan “Good to the Last Drop”?
18. Edson Arantes do Nascimento is better known to
the world by what single name?
19. Richard Strauss was, of course, a famous German
composer and conductor, but what does his last name
mean?
20. What is paronomasia?
ANSWERS
1. Red (Do not ask me how scientists know such things)
2. Sequoia
3. The Rolling Stones
4. David Brinkley and Chet Huntley
5. A kinologist studies physics laws of motion
6. 4 pounds
7. Dafur
8. Lucille Ball, Milton Berle, Paddy Chayesky, Norman Lear, Edward R. Murrow, William S. Paley, David Sarnoff
9. She Wore a Yellow Ribbon
10. The Ionian Sea
11. He played Marc Anthony
12. Eugene Debs. He ran as a socialist candidate and
received nearly one million votes.
13. Denmark
14.( D) 100
15. They are names of characters in works by Charles
Dickens
16. Theodore Roosevelt
17. Theodore Roosevelt. According to The Oxford Dictionary of Modern Quotations, Roosevelt uttered
that phrase to Joel Cheek in 1907.
18. Pele’, the great Brazilian soccer player
19. According to Wikipedia , Strauss is a German: nickname for an awkward or belligerent person, from Middle High German struz 'quarrel', 'complaint'. ... Dutch: from a Germanic personal name, Strusso.
20. According to the online Merriam Webster Dictionary, paronomasia was first used in 1571. It is from Latin, from Greek, from paronomazein to call with a slight change of name, from para- + onoma name — more at NAME. It is simply a long word meaning a pun or play on words.
**
POEM INSPIRED BY THE CONCLUSION
TO JANE EYRE, DEDICATED TO SOMEONE
WITH A BAD MEMORY
Reader, I married you.
Louis Phillips
0;p
THE MERRY JESTS OF WITTGENSTEIN #4By Louis Phillips No mask. No reading.NOTES FROM A DIARY
Even in a medieval cottage
Illuminated by erotic wattage
Of souls in collision & collusion,
Love is nothing if not specific.
**
Even if this sentence were false, you wouldread it all the way to its conclusion.
**
John Keats’ “Ode on a Grecian Urn” is disguisedas this this simple sentence. The disguise wasnearly perfect until one astute reader penetratedits clever cover. The first word of this sentence is missing, but itstill makes sense.WHO SAYS
Stand up & listen.
Who says
Poetry cannot work miracles?
Consider this:
It is a miracle I can
Write these words.
**
Verschlimmbessern
In order to improve this quatrain
I decided to add in the 3rd line
The German word verschlimmbessern
To rattle around in your brain;
You cannot hug it to your bosom.
Obviously it does not make
This poem any better.
What’s a rhyme for verschlimmbessern?**
Every third word in this weird sentence
will begin with the letter W at some
weird future time.
WARNING
If you shackle yourself to this sentence,
you will be forcibly removed, taken to
an undisclosed location and interrogated,
beaten, and waterboarded until you tell how
and why you did such a foolish thing.
***
WHO, NOT KNOWING
Mistakes are with us like the crack of dawn.
Who, not knowing,
How fragile the morning is,
Dropped it?
This sentence once was only four words long.
If this sentence does not convey any information,
then why does it exist?
**No animals of any kind were killed or injured inMaking this sentence.**Underneath this sentence is another sentence thatpraises whoever reads it. Unfortunately, thissentence is on top of it and cannot be moved.
This sentence ends here. Sorry for any inconvenience.
**
Old riddle
What is the longest English word?
SMILES
There is a mile between the first & last letter.
**
TRACER OF LOST POEMS
This poem has been missing
From the better anthologies
For more than 5 decades.
Aren’t you glad that it has been found?
**
Any resemblance between the words in
this sentence and any real words is
purely coincidental.
**
Feel free to add any words you wish to this interactive sentence.
**
All the words in this sentence appear closer
to the reader than they really are.
URANIA
Whirling electric Muse of Astronomy
Descends with “star-bespangled” song
To confess: Copernicus, with his heresy
Has been proven wrong:
This poem is the center of the Universe
& you, Dear Reader,
Are its beloved satellite. You orbit,
Orbit all around it.
**
CAUTION—VIRUS WARNING
No word in this sentence wears a mask,
nor is any word six feet away from any
other word.
LETTERS TO THE EDITORS or AS YOU LIKE IT humor by Louis Phillips
When icicles hang by the wall And Dick the shepherd blows his nail And Tom bears logs into the hall, And milk comes frozen home in pail. When blood is nipped and ways be foul, Then nightly sings the staring owl, Tu-who; Tu-whit, tu-who: a merry note, While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
When all aloud the wind doth blow; And coughing drowns the parson’s saw, And birds sit brooding in the snow, And Marian’s nose looks red and raw, When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl, Then nightly sings the staring owl, Then nightly sings the staring owl, Tu-who; Tu-whit, tu-who; a merry note, While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
William Shakespeare
If Shakespeare had published “Winter” today, the letter column of every book review section in the nation would be filled to overflowing. For example:
Dear Editors: I recently was astonished to read in your publication a poem by some new poet (if we can call him by that designation) named William Shakespeare. His poem “Winter” is offensive to all your women readers. It does not take a scholar to notice that when he mentions males (Tom and Dick) he makes no disparaging remarks about their physical appearance. Yet, when Mr. Shakespeare remarks upon Joan, he calls her “greasy” and when he writes about Marian he notes only that her nose “looks red and raw.” How insulting. If you wish to encourage male chauvinism you may do so without my subscription.
Sincerely,
A. Merryweather Chairwoman, Equal Time in Literature
*** Dear Editor:
Mr. Shakespeare’s (I assume that it is a pen-name) hatred of religion, as evidenced by the line “And coughing drowns the parson’s saw” is a misguided attack on all faithful churchgoers. We who attend religious services, even when the weather is foul, deserve more respect. I am tired of reading poems celebrating godlessness. Please cancel my subscription.
Sincerely,
Reverend Arthur Montroy III
***
Dear Editor:
I don’t know much about poetry (just what I read in your publication while waiting in my dentist’s office) but I do know a thing or two about owls. Recently, I was perturbed to read a contribution by some upstart crow named W. Shakespeare. Show me an owl that goes Tu-who, Tu-whit, and I’ll eat it. In the future, if you persist in your misguided efforts in publishing nature poets, then please locate a poet who knows something about his subject. No wonder poetry is in such decline. You might recall I wrote a similar letter to you when you published John Keat’s execrable sonnet wherein he had Cortez discovering the Pacific Ocean. Perhaps you should consider dropping poetry from your publication altogether.
Yours,
Quigley Horsefahr, President of Accuracy in Poetry
***
Dear Editor:
I recently borrowed a copy of your literary rag and I could not help but notice how your learned journal persists in its prejudice against shepherds. In a poem by a Mr. William Shakespeare, he shows all persons doing something positive (keeling pots, whatever the hell that means, or bearing logs into the hall) but he portrays shepherds as being lazy and egotistical, fit for doing nothing but blowing upon their fingernails. Let Mr. Shakespeare be warned! If we shepherds ever get hold of him, we shall teach him a thing or do publication would do well to portray the simple, hard-working shepherd in a more favorable light.
Yours,
Tom David Chinminn, President of Teamsters Local 79675 (Shepherds’ Division)
***
Hey Yo!
How come you’re always publishing poems about cold. What’s wrong with Summer or Spring? Get with it. Your readers would enjoy some other seasons for a change.
Yours in the heat of the sun.
Jack Frost
*** My dear persons:
Is it not possible to pick up your review without encountering more literary efforts endorsing the exploitation of the working classes? Sure, let poor Tom bear logs into some rich person’s hall. How much is poor Tom getting paid to do all this heavy work? Probably less than minimum wage. Most likely, he’s not getting paid at all. If you don’t show more sensitivity to the plight of the blue collar or even the no collar worker, then I suggest you pack it in. You haven’t published a decent working-class poem since “Man With a Hoe.” Now that’s the kind of poetry you should be publishing.
Yours on the way to my night job,
Harding Question, Esq.
***
Dear Editor:
Is your gray-eyed boy Shakespeare seriously suggesting that our little town is not safe? The line “When blood is nipped and ways be foul,” is an offense to our to our town council. We demand a written apology.
Sincerely,
Town Council
Hey you!
Sure, let your readers think it is not good to order milk in winter. What is the is propaganda Bill Shakespeare insinuates into nearly every poem he writes? I refer specifically to the line, “And milk comes frozen home in pail.” When we deliver milk, we make certain that our customers get what they order and unfrozen too. Everyone knows that Mr. Shakespeare has it in for us dairy farmers and milk-persons ever since a dairymaid told the constable about his deer poaching. We demand a retraction. And on the front page of your next issue.
Yours truly,
Howard Raftrough American Union of Home Milk Deliverers
**
Artist: Steve Duquette
ADVICE TO THE READER
Noel Coward advised a young actor
“Memorize the lines
& don’t bump into the furniture.”
The same advice cd apply
To all readers of this poem:
Memorize the lines,
But if you want to bump into a table or two,
Go ahead & do so.
Who am I to tell you what to do?
TREES
We’ve learned a lot about trees recently. Apparently they communicate with one another via chemicals that waft on the wind and via a fungal network underground. They warn of parasites, they feed their fellows in time of need. Like people are surprisingly social –they are at their best when there are many grouped together.
David Byrne . “By the Book “ in The New York Times Book Review (October 11,2020)
BUMPER STICKERS
Keep America beautiful -- eat a beer can.
**
Support your President; burn a copy of the Constitution.
(during the second term of George W. Bush; today more
applicable than ever)
**
God Made Us Sisters; Prozac Made Us Friends
My Mother Is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips
Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount
(Spotted on a passing motorcycle)
If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off
Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I Did a Little Shopping
What If the Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About?
Coffee, Chocolate, Men; Some Things Are Just Better Rich
Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law
If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the Kitchen
If at First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't for You
The Trouble With the Gene Pool Is That There's No Lifeguard
Get a New Car for Your Spouse. It'll Be a Great Trade
Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship
Anything Not Worth Doing Is Not Worth Doing Well
A Day Without Sunshine is Like Night
First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order
Old Age Comes at a Bad Time
In America, Anyone Can Be President.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
I need someone real bad... Are you real bad?
BEAUTY is in the eye of the beer holder.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
NEBRASKA: At least the cows are sane.
God must love stupid people...He made so many.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Always remember you're unique... Just like everyone else.
HONK ... If You Want To See My Finger
God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Who were the testers for Preparations A through G?
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
5 days a week my body is a temple.
bThe other two, it's an amusement park.
EARTH FIRST! -We'll strip-mine the other planets later.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her ...
or something like that.
Sure you can trust the government! Just ask
an Native American!
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
Nature always bats last.
**
OUTSIDE OF THIS HOUR ON THE SEA
Outside of this hour on the sea.
We imagine the Antipodes
Where the sun rises at midnight
&, as Theocritus sd:
“In sleep, every dog dreams of food.”
But when I dream,
I am wandering in a house
Near the ocean
Where the waves are black & high.
It is my house & not my house ,
& persons inside are quarreling
Because I am late, or early, or lost.
Inside this house,
There is always a room
I have never known about,
Did not know it existed.
A door opens. Inside is a woman.
She stands with her arms
Folded across her chest,
A sign of modesty or diffidence.
“Enter,” she says. “Enter.”
Through a window, the sea surges.
Breaking waves seem to ask:
Why are you here? Where are you?
Outside of this hour on the sea,
Who am I really?
Louis Phillips
UNTITLED -- reprinted from SENTENCED by Louis Phillips
(World Audience Books) Available from Amazon
“I think a good title is obliged to exist at a more primitive level than clear exposition can provide.” Norman Mailer
Titles! Without titles, how would we be able to identify
the books we are reading or wish to read? Titles are to
authors what naming babies are to parents. And sometimes
what a problem choosing a title or a name is. I wonder –-
what did Homer call his epic poems? Did he originally call
TheIliad something catchy, such as War and No Peace?
Or was it simply known as Homer’s Epic?
Forgive me. I am merely wondering out loud what might
have been the first literary Work to bear a title? No matter
the answer to that question it cannot be denied that giving
a title to one’s artistic efforts can be serious business indeed.
Case in point: On March 23, 1967, Norman Mailer wrote
a letter to Walter Minton of Putnam’s Publishing House
in which the author defends the choice of a title for
his book –--Why We Are in Vietnam:
I think the title will end up working for us. The blurb can start out right away by saying, “Everyone who hears the title thinks that Norman Mailer a political article or a novel about Vietnam, but as you will soon discover, Vietnam is mentioned only oncein the book, and then on the last page. Why then the title? The author doesn’t say, but one can assume that in this scandalous, ribald, hilarious and frightening account of a hunting expedition in the Brooks Mountain Range in Alaska etc., etc., Norman Mailer is saying, ‘This perhaps is what we Americans are like, and this may be one of the reasons we’re engaged in such a war.’ PerhapsMailer is even drawing some parallels between the hunting down of animals and…but forget about the title, this book is going to knock you on your ass.
(see THE SELECTED LETTERS OF NORMAN MAILER,
edited by J. Michael Lennon Random House, 2014
I find that one of the more revealing passages about how
much weight some titles can bear.
Playwrights too have struggled to express their
understanding of their own works through the choice
of a title that might also attract an audience. On March
11, 2015, Erik Piepenburg wrote an article for the
New York Times -What I Almost Called My Play: Writers on the Titles They Didn’t Use. In that article,
Bathesheba Dawn explained why she abandoned
her original title “What Is Not”:
I was in the middle of writing the play and I was at a gala. I sat next to this lovely lady who said the play “Bad Jews” sold out in previews. I never considered the idea of a title as a marketing tool, ever. I said, “I’m working on a new play and it’s called ‘What Is Not.’ ” She held up her hand in front of my face and said: “No, don’t do it to yourself! You cannot call your play that.” I went to bed and woke up and I turned to my wife and said, “I’m going to call it “Love & Sex.” I called a friend whom I trust, and she said “ ‘Love & Sex’ is a magenta title, but there is nothing magenta about your writing. Your writing is very green, and ‘The Mystery of Love & Sex’ is dark green.” I never doubted it after she said that.
I wonder if Shakespeare did much soul searching
when it cameto titling his plays for presentation at
the Globe Theater. Titles such as Hamlet, Othello,
and King Lear seem very forthright.Nothing fancy
there. Playwright Sarah Ruhl has noticed that
Tragedy is often named for the tragic person –King Lear, Hamlet, Julius Caesar – Whereas comedies draw from the world at large -–As you Like It, The Comedy of Errors, A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Tragedy has proper nouns, and comedy has regular old nouns that signify the world and the structure of the world over and above the individual.
(Sarah Ruhl. 100 Essays I Don’t Have Time to Write,
(Faberand Faber, Inc. 2014)
Perhaps it is also worth noting that comedies,
because they provide us with a double vision of
the human situation –-the discrepancy between
what we aspire to be and what we
truly are – sometimes carry subtitles: Twelfth Night, or
What You Will.
Of course, authors can be passionate about their titles
choices, but publishers and financial considerations about
sales often have a say in the matter. Many readers of TheGreat Gatsby, of course, are familiar with the fact that F.
Scott Fitzgerald originally considered calling it Trimalchio in West Egg, one title among several that passed through
his head. It may seem obvious now that any book called
Trimalchio in West Egg will not sell very well.
Unfortunately, The Great Gatsby didn’t too much for sales
either. Frequently Fitzgerald would steal into bookstores
to purchase copies of his own book to improve his sales’
record.
Here are a few other original titles for well-known
books (most, I think, for the better):
Twilight – The Sound and the Fury The Chronic Argonaut – The Time Machine The Sea-Cook – Treasure Island Tomorrow is Another Day – Gone With the Wind First Impressions -- Pride and Prejudice The Village Virus – Main Street
And so on.* Such lists merely show how important
revising and rewriting and rethinking are. Sometimes
titles have to be changed because of the pressure of
current events. In 2010,
It’s because of Frank Sinatra that we use the phrase
“Catch-22” today. Well, sort of. Author Joseph Heller
tried out Catch-11, but because the original Ocean’s Eleven movie was newly in theaters, it was scrapped
to avoid confusion. He also wanted Catch-18, but, again,
a recent publication made him switch titles
to avoid confusion: Leon Uris’ Mila 18. The number 22
was finally chosen because it was 11 doubled.
The Book of Lists 2 gives a slightly different version of the above story of origin, and James Campbell,
reviewing Gary Dexter’s Why Not Catch-21? For TLS
(September 21, 2007) wrote “The title of Dexter’s book
refers to Joseph Heller’s arithmetic. Conceived as Catch-l8.
his novel sank to Catch 11, caught up a bit by becoming
Catch l4, before making the decisive leap to Catch 22.”But titles being what they are, not all titles are correct and some present other problems of interpretation. For example, as Christopher Hitchens pointed out in Hitch 22 (a title that is itself an allusion to Catch 22) that “ It is characteristic
of Martin (Amis) to have pointed out that Dickens’ title
Our Mutual Friend contains, or is, a solecism. One can
have a common friend but not mutual ones.
Titles are sometimes misinterpreted. For example,
Colin Fleming once had a professor who believed
that the impressive titular number of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea referred to oceanic depth, rather than
distance traveled. Many a reader has made the same
mistake.
++
TITLES
It’s (QUEEN AND COUNTRY) a slightly ironic title, obviously,
and I wanted one which had a bit of a ring that associated it
with Hope and Glory. And the Queen coming to the throne
was quite an important part element of the story. Skiving was
my original title – but I was dissuaded, because Americans
wouldn’t know the word, and nobody knew how to translate
it into other languages.
John Boorman in Sight and Sound (July, 2015)
In looking over an autumn catalogue, we came across a series
of books for young persons in which we were struck by the titles
When Mother Let Us Help and When Mother Lets Us Cook. We trust
the series will be extended along these lines. If so, we intend
to use as gifts for H. 3rd, When Father Lets MeStoke the Furnace, When Father Lets Me Shine His Shoes, and When Father Lets MeLend Him Money.
Heywood Broun
(Woody) Allen’s working title for Annie Hall was “Anhedra”
a term coined by the French psychologist Theodule –Armand
Ribaud to describe “the inability to experience pleasure from
actions usually found enjoyable.”
Philip Fiens. (??) “Woody’s Blues” in TLS
(October 4, 2013).
What’s Up, Tiger Lily (the discreet comma was not always in the title)…
New Yorker. “Goings on About Town” (September 3,1973
I once had a professor who believed that the impressive titular
number of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea referred to oceanic
depth, rather than distance traveled.
Colin Fleming
Mr. Inge’s title (THE DARK AT THE TOP OF THE TOP STAIRS)
is meant to suggest that there is inevitably a certain amount
of darkness ahead for all of us as we climb our weary way to
Heaven, but his play contains the reassuring message that a
good many of the terrors infesting the gloom are imaginary and
that the real ones can usually be defeated if we can only meet
them hand in hand.
Wolcott Gibbs. Reviewing William Inge’s play
For The New Yorker (December 14, 1957)
Why it is an absolute fantasy. Even the title doesn’t exist:
there is no such reading on a compass as north by northwest.
Alfred Hitchcock
It is characteristic of Martin (Amis) to have pointed out that
Dickens’ title Our Mutual Friend contains, or is, a
Solecism. One can have a common friend but not
mutual ones.
Christopher Hitchens. Hitch 22 (a title that is
a punning reference to Catch 22.Don Juan in Hull
Title of an essay by Clive James about the poet Philip Larkin
**
The title of Dexter’s book refers to Joseph Heller’s arithmetic.
Conceived as Catch-l8. his novel sank to Catch 11, caught up
a bit by becoming Catch l4, before making the decisive leap
to Catch 22.
James Campbell, reviewing Gary Dexter’s Why Not Catch-21?
for TLS (September 21, 2007)
**SHEILA LEVINE IS DEAD AND LIVING IN
NEW YORK (1975)]
If the title were not meant to be satiric or witty, but merely an
unerringly accurate description of the film’s content and mood,
then it is the only thing about the movie that works.
William K. Everson in Films in Review (March 1975)
If you think the title (“A BEAUTIFUL LIFE”) stinks, try the movie.
Anthony Lane
**
“Now listen, he (Herman Levin) said, “we’ve got to have a title.
People have to know the name of what they have seen so they
can tell their friends to go see it!” His logic was irrefutable,
“Call it anything,” he went on.“you can always change it on
the road. After all when Oklahoma opened it was Away We Go.”
“Why don’t we just take the title we dislike the least ,” I suggested.
There was a collective, apathetic nod. After a brief summary
of all the candidates, we decided the title we found the least
indigestible was My Fair Lady, and with a helpless shrug we
agreed to it. A few months later we all thought it was brilliant
-–except Fritz (composer Frederick Loewe), who still liked
‘fanfaroon.’
Alan Jay Lerner. The Street Where I Live.
(W.W.Norton Company, 1968). Herman Levin was
The producer of the theater musical My Fair Lady.
When Browning published series of eight volumes of poems
in the six years preceding his marriage, he called them
Bells and Pomengranates. He thought everyone would
immediately understand the significance of the title and
nobody did, Finally he explained that by “Bells” he meant
sound and by “Pomengranates” he meant sense; and that
the two words together signified the union in good poetry
of music and meat, or sound and sense.”William Lyon Phelps. Yearbook. (New York: The Macmillan Company,1935. P.14.ON GETTING THE RIGHT TITLE
FOR A MYSTERY NOVEL
On my Christmas Holiday
I decided to read a mystery by Brett Halliday --
Murder and the Married Virgin with Mike Shayne.
It’s a title I can’t get out of my brain.
LJP
**Queenie’s Whim is a title I cannot forget. It is the title of
a novel I do not expect or want to read. The novel was
by Rosa Nonchette Carey, whose readers must now be
fewer than they were.
William Plomer. Electric Delights
Some years later, he ( Jeffrey Farnol) wrote The Amateur Gentleman – a rather curious title, for could there be a professional gentleman?
William Lyon Phelps. Yearbook. (New York: The Macmillan Company,1935. P.14.
In the reference room of the old Donnell Library in Manhattan
there was once a one-volume reference book titled INDEX TO WOMEN.
It’s a title that gives me great pleasure and one that invokes
numerous fantasies, The full title is INDEX TO WOMEN OF THE WORLD
FROM ANCIENT TO MODERN TIMES: BIOGRAPHIES AND PORTRAITS
by Norma Olin Ireland.
Louis Phillips
He (GORE VIDAL) once joked to me that he meant to call his first memoir An Actor Prepares, cadging the title from Stanislavski. Instead, he called it Palimpsest , ‘a word that no one will no,’ he said. ‘But then it’s a life nobody will know, particularly after reading the book.”
Michael Mewshaw. Sympathy For the Devil.
Why “Dangerous Turns”? Because in many of my novels
the characters – family, couple, or isolated individuals --
suddenly find themselves facing an event that will change
their destinies. Had I not had Maigret dream of a profession
that, unfortunately, does not exist, that of “Mender of Destinies.
Georges Simenon. – Intimate Memories
(Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1984)
**
MOAT“Man who builds castles in the air; fantasizer,”
Somedays I feel like a toad in mudwort.
But I am at an age now
Where I no longer care
About building castles in the air.
What I worry about now is the moat.
Louis Phillips
“I speak a lot of time working in saloons… I was a kid…
They paid you and the checks didn’t bounce. I didn’t
meet any Nobel Prizewinners in saloons but if Francis
of Assisi was a singer and worked in saloons he would
have met the same guys.”
Frank Sinatra, quoted by Pete Hamill, reported also in
“Sinatra’s Song” by John Lahr in Profiles (The New Yorker,
November 3, 1997)
**
NEW BOOK BY ROBERT KARMONROBERT KARMON
The Resettlement of Isaachttps://pleasureboatstudio.com/product/the-resettlement-of-isaac/
Order directly from the Publisher, $18.00,
apple e-book
B&N Nook
ROBERT KARMON
The Resettlement of IsaacNew pub date: August 15th
PRE-ORDER $18
Order both for 25% off with coupon code: Isaac_setA theater script, companion piece and sequel to the historical fiction, Isaac, based on the true, incredible story of Isaac Gochman, a 17-year old from Rovno, Poland, who, in one horrific night, survives a Nazi massacre of his entire family along with 20,000 other Jews. Thrust alone into the forest and the wilderness of war, Isaac finds the courage to fight back as a Russian partisan blowing up Nazi trains, and finds the passion to fall deeply in love with Anya, a Russian partisan nurse—in love for the first time in his young life. It is a tragic love that transcends religious differences. Many years later in New York, the elderly Isaac is still haunted by the memory of his first love. His only friend, a young German-American woman, is tormented herself by doubts about her father’s role as a German soldier during the war. Deeply affected by Isaac’s past, she becomes the loving caretaker of his memories after he is gone. The play confirms what Faulkner once wrote, “The past is never dead, it’s not even past.”ROBERT KARMONis an award winning playwright, published poet, s
short story writer and published screenwriter, who has worked on screenplays for Columbia pictures, CBS and Eddie Murphy Production. He was a member of Playwrights Horizon and Edward Albee’s Playwrights Unit. As a Professor of Literature and Creative Writing, he has taught at Temple University, Queens College, Hunter college, and is currently Professor Emeritus of Literature and Creative Writing at Nassau Community College in Garden City, Long Island. His book, Isaac was published by Pleasure Boat Studio in 2017. He is married with two daughters and three grandchildren.EXISTENTIALISM
Having studied existentialism in an offhand way since 1935,
I become more and more convinced that its meaning can be
reduced to the following formulation:
Existentialism means that no one else take a bath for you.Delmore Schwartz. “Existentialism: The Inside Story” in The Ego is Always at the Wheel.”
**
J.D. SALINGER
He seemed to regard his literary success as a moral stain,
It would be hard to think of a contemporary American writer
whose personal life was more true to the ethos of his fiction.
Michael Greenberg. The New York Review of Books
(March 15, 2010)
**
MY SECOND RECOMMENDATION
There should be annual literary award for the wildest, most
outrageously verbal sleigh-ride work of fiction.
BACK TO THE WINE JUG would win hands-down!
It takes a brave author to write a novel in rhyming quatrains
about Diogenes and Victoria Woodhull (yes, that Victoria Woodhull)
return from the underworld to wander through Birmingham,
Alabama, to search for an honest man. Lots of luck! As
Gloria Steinem may or may not have said: "The Truth will
set you free, but first it will piss you off. "
With an unscrupulous and evil J. Edgar Hoover in
hot pursuit of our protagonists, the inventive rhyming plot twists
& turns. Should we worry whether comic writers are essential
workers or not? As for the puns & general word play,
if' the author had lived in an earlier age he would have been
burned at the stake.
Oh Hell, burn him at the stake now in Birmingham and
be done with him.
**
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A PAGE RIPPED UNTIMELYFROM THE CALENDAR OF EARTHLY DELIGHTS
When I fall in love with a woman who possesses a Latin face,
Noble carriage, or a figure
Promising, on the calendar of earthly delights
A new holiday,
I soon discover, unlike Columbus or Casanova,
She is completely up-to-date,
Contemporaneous with the next century,
Complete with rocket boosters,
Whereas I am wandering, perplexed & lost,
In Late Medieval and Renaissance Europe.
Louis Phillips
AMERICA/ AMERICANS
Mr. Pennhollow is the symbol of something that Americans,
with their instinctive faith in human perfectibility, have always
refused to acknowledge. The presence in the world of evil that
is not accidental or caused by defective environment but is achieved
by deliberate choice over good; evil that wears the calm and
self-assurance of the saint.
Malcolm Cowley
If there is a dirty secret in American life, it is this: The
real unifying force in our national cultural and political life,
beyond skirmishes over ideology, is white identity masked
as universal, neutral and therefore quintessentially American.
Michael Eric Dyson in The New York Times Sunday Review
(December 18,2016).
Reviewing The Angelic Avengers by Pierre Andrezei
(pseudonym of t Baroness Karen Blixen)
The American attitude, man for man, and woman for
woman is coarse, greedy, calculating and insincere. The
intention of every individual; is to get as much as he can.
And his desire when he gets it is to make as great a show
as possible in order to belittle and make insignificant the lives
and aspirations of those whom he finds about him. No, this
is not a class condition. It is the American temperament.
Theodore Dreiser
In my country, instead of asking the artist what makes children
commit suicide, they go to the Chairman of General Motors and
ask him. This is true. If you make a million dollars you know all
the answers.
William Faulkner. Quoted in “William Faulkner in Japan”
by Gay Wilson Allen
Modern America is a society in which a growing share of income
and wealth is concentrated in the hands of a small number of people
and these have huge political influence –in the early stages of the
2016 presidential campaign, around half the contributions came
from fewer than 200 wealthy families.
Paul Krugman. The New York Times (January 1, 2016)
...
America is the only country where a significant proportion
of the population believes professional wrestling is real but
the moon landing was faked.
David Letterman
Aloness is his (EDWARD HOPPER’S) great theme, symbolizing
America: insecure selfhoods in a country that is only abstractly
a nation. “E Pluribus unum,” a magnificent ideal, thuds on “unum”
every day throughout the land. Only law –we’re a polity of lawyers—
confers unity on the United States, which sensibly be a Balkans
of regional sovereignties had the Civil War not been so awful as
to remove that option…
Peter Schjeldahl. “Apart: Edward Hopper’s Solitude” in
The New Yorker (June 8 & 15, 2020).
It would be hard to find a neater emblem of
Capitalist America – three minutes of Chekhov
taken every day like a pill will strengthen your
empathy muscles. Science proves it,
James Wood in his PEN/HEMINGWAY Keynote address.
****
America is a nation of liars, and for that reason science fiction has a special claim to be our national literature, as the art form best adapted to telling the lies we like to hear and to pretend we believe.
Thomas Disch
IF FOX NEWS REPORTED AMERICAN HISTORY
By Louis Phillips
January 2, 1863. It was reported yesterday morning
on this Network that President Lincoln supposedly
issued a Proclamation that promised to free the
Slaves. Today, President Lincoln said that he proclaimed
no such thing. He says his words were taken out
of context (the Civil War) and that he threatens to sue
Fake News reporters for libel. Honest Abe will appear
on Sean Hannity’s Show tonight at 8 to set the record
straight.
**
September 23, 1918 – Sean Hannity today declared that
The so called Spanish Flu Pandemic is a hoax, a
plan set in motion by liberal politicians to make the
the current President and his Senate supporters look
like a decisive leaders and thus make Democrats invulnerable
in the upcoming Congressional election. Fox News is the
only station to see through the plot to prevent Republicans
from gaining seats in the Senate.
The so called Flu is nothing more than a common cold.
Senator Warren G, Harding will be on Laura Ingraham’s
Midnight Special at 10 A.M.
**
November 1 1918 – Sean Hannity says that he never
called the Spanish Flu a hoax. In fact, he said, he
suspected right away that it was a Pandemic.” I knew
It before the President did,” he declared.
**
For all the New Yorkers who fight for the city’s soul
Every day in ways large and small and who never
Forget what a city is.
Jeremiah Moss. Vanishing New York: How a Great City LostIts Soul (New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 2017)
MOVIES
The easiest movie to cast and get made is a sexual thriller
set at a resort location in the tropics. Every movie star wants
a paid vacation, tropical sunshine, swimming in he moonlight.
Every movie star wants to have real sex on the beach with his co-star.
GUY McELAINE . quoted in Hollywood Animal by Joe Esterhas
One always more or less believes to have ‘dreamed’ it when
one recalls Claudette Colbert bathing in a pool filled with
asses’ milk at the beginning of DeMille’s ‘Sign of the Cross.”
Salvador Dali
In the world of 2001, people have become so machinelike
that the most human character turns out to be a machine –-
that’s the essence of Kubrick’s dark prophecy: as we come t
o rely on computers to mediate our understanding of the world,
it s our own intelligence that flattens into artificial intelligence.
Nicholas Carr The Atlantic (July/August 2008)
Two or three years ago, I had the impression that everything
had already been done, that there was nothing left to do that
hadn’t been done before. In short, I was a pessimist. Since
Pierrot (Pierre Le Fou) I no longer have this feeling at all.
Yes. one has to film everything, to talk about everything.
Everything remains to be done.
Jean-Luc Godard
**
"The commercial cinema is an entertainment or pastime
for illiterate selves of an up-to-date 'business civilization'
founded on mammon. The sham naturalism, the trendy
romanticism, the sentimentality on the one hand with its
psychological complement -- brutality-- on the other.
The tinned literature and language and music of the cinema
have had their big share in the disbasement of the idealistic
significance of theatrical performance and workmanship."
Theodore Komisarjewsky
There’s a scene in John Maybury’s new film Love is the Devil
in which Francis Bacon has an orgasm while watching
Battleship Potemkin. Now that’s what I call a motion picture.
Mark Steyn
**
I don’t mean to suggest that film is the source and model of all
that is wrong in modern society. But I do think that the world of film,
which includes those people who are madly enthusiastic about any
film, need to examine very carefully what happens in our minds
when we watch endless violent imagery and feel no wound or
repercussions. For one, I am no longer confident that a message has
not been passed down to several generations, in their bloodstreams,
in their nervous systems and in their trigger fingers.
David Thomson, See THE INDEPENDENT (October 10,2003), p.4.
**
Whatever happened to the good, honest practice of sticking
numerals after a sequel’s title to indicate what number it was
in the series? I grew up in the days of Jaws 2, Superman III
and Police Academy 7 and, whatever the shortcomings of
those pictures, at least you knew where you stood. Generally
speaking, the higher the number, the worse the film in question
was likely to be.
Toby Young, The Spectator, l8 August 2007
MOVIE TITLES
Can Heironymous Merken Ever Forget Mercy Hummpe and Find True Happiness?
$
**'
CASTING NEWS
THE SOLID GOLD CADILLAC starring Mary Carr
BENT with Clarence Straight
THE DEER HUNT with Buck Henry and Fawn Hall
THE SEARCH FOR THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH -- a musical starring Robert Young, Henny Youngman, Joel Youngblood, with dances choreographed by MIchael Kidd
RIP VAN WINKLE with Wayne Sleep
VERTIGO with Dizzy Dean
THE PHILATELIST with Terrence Stamp
THE LIZZY BORDEN STORY with Buddy Hackett, Emmanuel Axe
HUCKLEBERRY FINN with Mickey Rivers and George Raft
THE CLYDE BEATTY STORY with John Cage, Tiger Woods, Susan Lyons
O CALCUTTA! with Max Baer
BETRAYAL with Marianne Faithfull
K2 with R2D2
FANCY PANTS with Roy Acuff
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MIA FARROW GETS LOST IN MIAMI AND HER DISAPPEARANCE IS REPORTED TO THE POLICE
Farrow, Mia
For a brief time was MIA
In Mia-
mi. Momma mia!
OF DINING & FRENCH CINEMA
As I was eating a souffle'
I thought about
Jean-Luc Godard’s A BoutDe Soufflet
Louis Phillips
PhillipsMiscellany 