BITS & PIECES OF A MISPLACED LIFE: SEX FOR SINGULAR PERSONS/ANIMALS

OSCAR WILDE IN A HOUSE OF ILL-REPUTE

"...You may have heard that Oscar Wilde was once
sent to a house of prostitution in France, by 
friends who raised the money at a bar one night,
snd that afterwards, when he was asked what he
thought about it, he said, 'It was like cold
mutton.'

James Thurber, in a letter to Dr. Gordon Bruce
(December 28, 1950). Selected Letters of James
Thurber, edited by Helen Thurber and Edward
Weeks (Boston: Little,Brown and Company, 1981)
**

HERMIONE GINGOLD’S VICTORIAN MOTHER
TELLS HER DAUGHTER ABOUT THE FACTS OF
LIFE (SORT OF)

“I knew nothing of life. My mother had neglected 
to tell me I would soon become a woman, and I 
hadn’t a clue where babies came from. The nearest 
my mother ever came to telling me the facts of 
life was the day she called me to her room and
said she had something important to tell me. 
After a good deal of embarrassed coughing, she 
spluttered , ‘Don’t ever sit down on a strange 
lavatory seat.’ The strain of imparting this 
information affected her so much that she had 
to retire to bed and I  didn’t see her for three 
days. I was more confused than ever.”

Hermione Gingold. How to Grow Old Disgracefully
(New York: St.Martin’s Press, 1988)
**

ON CBS CENSORSHIP AND A WORD NOT ALLOWED TO BE 
SPOKEN ON  M*A*S*H

The most striking example to me was early in the 
series. Radar(Gary Burghof) is explaining to somebody
 that he’s unfamiliar with something . And he said, 
“I’m a virgin at that, sir.” With no sexual context.
 It was just  that he’d never done something before. 
And the CBS censor said: ‘You can’t say the word 
‘virgin.’ That’s forbidden.’  So the next week (Larry) 
Gelbart  wrote a little scene that had nothing to do with anything. A patient is being carried through on a 
stretcher. And I say, ‘Where you from, son?’ And he
 says, ‘The Virgin Islands.’"

Alan Alda.,”The Heart of M*A*S*H Looks Back by
Saul Austerlitz in The New York Times (September 
22, 2022)
**

CONFUSED

When I got married  I was so naïve, I confused orgasm
with origami. Our honeymoon bed was littered with
hundreds of paper swans.
**
REAL SEX/ARTFUL SEX: BUTTERFLIES

"An intriguing entomological shows that a male
butterfly will ignore a living female of butterfLY
of his own species in favor of a painted cardboard
one, if the cardboard one is big. If the cardboard
one is bigger than he is, bigger than any female
ever could be. Over and over again, he jumps the
piece of cardboard. Nearby, the real, living
female butterfly opens and closes her wings in
vain." 

Annie Dillard. The Writing Life (New York:
HarperPerennial, 1990)
**
AROUND THE WORLD

Sex in France is a comedy; in England it is
a tragedy; in America it's melodrama; in Italy
it's an opera; in Germany, a reason to take up
philosophy."  Anonymous

quoted in Sex:"The Most Fun You Can Have
Without Laughing"..and Other Quotations,
Gathered by William Cole and Louis Phillips
(New York: Saint Martin's Press, 1990)
 ^^   
ON THE WORLD FAMOUS ZIPLESS FUCK

“I’m not in search of ziplessness at this point 
in my life. The zipless fuck is better as a 
fantasy than as a reality.”

Erica Jong. Playboy interview
**
PREGNANT WOMAN CARRYING A SHOTGUN

She was loaded to bear.

**

THE 11TH COMMANDMENT --THOU SHALT NOT ENVY 
THE TAPEWORM

"If monogamy is the height of all virtue
then the palm goes to the tapeworm, which
has a complete set of male and female organs
in each of its 50-200 proglotoids of sections
and spends its whole life copulating in all its
sections with itself.

Friedrich Engels. The Origin of the Family.
**
UNLIKELY LIAISONS

If Isadora Duncan had married movie star Robert
Duncan, would she be known as Duncan Donat?

If skating star Tai Babilonia had married pitcher
Herb Score, would she be known as Tai Score?

If the daughter of the steamboat married the son
of Frankie Frisch, and if that couple had a
daughter named Margaret, would New Yorkers refer
to her as Fulton-Frisch Margaret?


ON THE EFFECTS OF PORNOGRAPHY
UPON MODERN LIFE

Oedipus Rex
Had sex
With his mum.
Ho-hum.

LJP
**