PHILLIPS’ MISCELLANY #7

‘ On language, words, word play etc. THE APPLE-SAUCE CHRONICLES

LANGUAGE

 “It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression “as pretty as an airport”.

     Douglas Adams

Language, according to the anthropologist Robin Dunbar, evolved because gossip is a more efficient version of the “social grooming” essential to animals living in groups.

John Tierney. The New York Times  (Science Times) October 16, 2007

NAMES

   Horseshoe crabs have lots of eyes, and the species name, Limulus polyphemus, derives from some of them. The two large eyes can be construed as squinting, hence Limulus ,which means  “squinting or aslant” in Latin. A pair of smaller eyes on top of the prosoma are so close together they might be mistaken for a single eye, hence polyphemus, from the Cyclops.

 Ian Frazer. “Blue Bloods” in THE NEW YORKER  (April 14, 2014)

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ENGLISH

ENGLISH

     The word non-hyphenated is hyphenated.

                         Anonymous

He said it was a pity I had spoken English all my life, because it was so bad for the teeth.

Line from “The Captive Niece” by Mavis Gallant

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 In standard English there are only two present tenses – I work, I am working. In English as spoken in white Appalachia, there are three – I work, I am working, I a’working. In black Appalachian dialect there five – I work, I am working, I be working, I a’working – and each has a different shade of meaning.

             Toni Morrison

Time (April 6, 1970)

THE WORD MUSEUM

In 2000, Jeffrey Kacirk’s  book – THE WORD MUSEUM: THE MOST REMARKABLE ENGLISH EVER FORGOTTEN – was published by  Simon & Schuster. Some forgotten  words collected by   Mr. Kacirk are:

l. album nigrum –the excrement of mice & rats

2. awblaster – a cross-bowman

3. bubulcitate – to cry as a cowherd

4. carry-castle  — an elephant

 5. cephalemonacy – divination by using a broiled

                                        head of an ass

 6. feague – to put fingers up a horse’s fundament

 7.  maffle – to stutter

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THE APPLESAUCE CHRONICLES

Rin TinTinnitus – Movie dog whose barking leaves fans with ringing in their ears for hours after the movie is over.

DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HAYDEN – A noted Doctor has a second personality who composes symphonies.

“I had my nose removed,” Pinocchio said with a
straight face.
 
 
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If a building has occupants, can it also have occushirts?
 
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THE NEW GEOGRAPHY:
 
Pinnocc-Ohio – The state that grows larger whenever one of
its citizens tells a lie.

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Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Distance.
Distance who?
Distance is a waltz, but the next dance is a tango.
 
*
What’s the difference between a doorman and a fashion designer?
One closes doors while the other adores clothes.
 
 
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SENTENCES THAT FEATURE AT LEAST 5 CONSECUTIVE LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET:
 
l. ABC DEFtly spoken by a young child is pleasant to hear.
2. Do you fly KLM? NO.
3. Run to heR , STU, Very quickly.

DIFFICULT TO SAY ALOUD QUICKLY
 
Watch
 Watch
 Swatch.
 Which
 Watch
 Swatch?
 Switch
 Watch
 Swatch.

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A LETTER TO THE NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW

April 11, 2014

I totally like John McWhorter’s like of like. Like wow! The Grammar Police can whistle in the wind because the English
Language is stronger than all of us. It goes its own way.  
     Speaking of its, what’s with the its and it’s problem. Many of  my college students confuse  it’s for the possessive. But, think about it –it’s for a possessive is logical, since all possessive cases use the apostrophe S.  If you wish to know when it’s
denotes it is, placement in the sentence will make it clear.
Perhaps the confusion between its and it’s will eventually disappear. Like totally.

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THE PHLOX OF THURBER
 
 
America's noted humorist  James Thurber once noted, "On a recent night,
 
tossing and spelling, I spent two hours hunting for another word besides
 
'phlox' that has 'hlo' in it. I finally found seven." Can you?
 
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Possible answers:
 
 
l. Decathlon
 
2. Pentathlon
 
3.Hydrochloric
 
4. Chloroform
 
5. Monthlong
 
6. Matchlock
 
7. Chlorine
 
8. Chlorophyll

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FROM MY GOOD FRIEND RICHARD GID POWERS: NOTES
ON THE TERM FIFTH BUSINESS

Fifth business? Here is the definition that Davies offers in a preface: "Those roles which, being neither those of Hero nor Heroine, Confidante nor Villain, but which were nonetheless essential to bring about the Recognition or the denouement, were called the Fifth Business in drama and opera companies organized according to the old style; the player who acted these parts was often referred to as Fifth Business."
Fifth Business in this case is Dunstable Ramsay, a crumpled old history professor with a wooden leg and an interest in mythology, magic and hagiography, who has just retired after 45 years of teaching in a private Canadian boys' school. A report of his retirement ceremony in the school's newspaper has "disgusted" him, not merely because of "its illiteracy of tone" but also because of "its presentation to the public of a portrait of myself as a typical old schoolmaster doddering into retirement with tears in his eyes and a drop hanging from his nose." To set the record straight and illustrate what "the vital though never glorious role of Fifth Business" can involve, Ramsay addresses a lengthy and indignant autobiographical letter to the school's headmaster. Mr. Davies's novel is the letter.
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FIFTH BUSINESS
l Here is the definition that Davies offers in a preface: "Those roles which, being neither those of Hero nor Heroine, Confidante nor Villain, but which were nonetheless essential to bring about the Recognition or the denouement, were called the Fifth Business in drama and opera companies organized according to the old style; the player who acted these parts was often referred to as Fifth Business."
Fifth Business in this case is Dunstable Ramsay, a crumpled old history professor with a wooden leg and an interest in mythology, magic and hagiography, who has just retired after 45 years of teaching in a private Canadian boys' school. A report of his retirement ceremony in the school's newspaper has "disgusted" him, not merely because of "its illiteracy of tone" but also because of "its presentation to the public of a portrait of myself as a typical old schoolmaster doddering into retirement with tears in his eyes and a drop hanging from his nose." To set the record straight and illustrate what "the vital though never glorious role of Fifth Business" can involve, Ramsay addresses a lengthy and indignant autobiographical letter to the school's headmaster. Mr. Davies's novel is the letter.
The story it tells revolves around a misaimed snowball thrown late one afternoon in 1908 in the tiny Canadian village of Deptford. As it turns out, the lives of all five of the people involved in the incident are forever defined at the moment it happens.
It is not immediately apparent that they are. Percy Boyd Staunton, who throws the snowball, will grow up to marry the town's beauty and become one of the richest, most powerful men in Canada. Mary Dempster, whom the snowball strikes in the back of the head, will become a simpleton, the town's "hoor," and possibly a saint, too. Her husband, the Reverend Amasa Dempster, will live on for a time. Paul Dempster, whose premature birth is brought on by the impact of the snowball, will grow up to be the world's greatest magician. But certain paths will cross again and the incident will be resolved.